Tuesday, 24 June 2008

The Ultimate Secret Bunker

I suppose most of us must give at least a passing thought, at some time or another, to what we might do and where we might go in the event of some horrendous world catastrophe - nuclear war, bird flu, the rapid onset of the next ice age, perhaps, or a giant, out of control rabid, toxic Celine Dion rampaging across the globe.

World leaders have certainly given it some thought at various points in recent history, building vast underground bunkers and complex communications infrastructure to ensure that they (and maybe a select few of us) survive. Most recently we had the opening of the Global Seed Vault built under a Norwegian mountain to store all known types of crop, in case some future disaster puts at risk our capacity to produce Corn Flakes and Hovis.

But now I know exactly where I'll be heading should the prophets of doom start their oratory in earnest:


Yes, it's the secret Lego vaults, where the crazy Danish plastic brick makers have stashed away one complete set of every Lego product ever made. Really. Every one.

Can you imagine a more fulfilling way to live out your last few days on Earth, as the meagre food and oxygen supplies dwindle and the hope of salvation recedes? Something better than having access to all those Lego Space and Pirates sets that were just that little bit too expensive for your Dad to buy you, even at Christmases or significant birthdays? Come on!!??!

Sorry guys, you can all go off and live in a bunker full of seeds and grain (grain?! Puh-lease - even the most fertile of imaginations would have difficulty making any fun out of a few big piles of plant germplasm) I'll die happy pretending to be a wee square yellow spaceman with limited capacity for limb movements and a head that has a tendency to fall off at the most inopportune moments.

If the rescue parties ever arrived with news of mankind's miracle survival and the great hope for the rebirth of the human race, they would find me, like a crazy, child-like Colonel Kurtz muttering to myself about the scarcity of roof pieces and my grand plan to build a replica Berlin Wall out of thousands of 2x6 multi-coloured studded bricks.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! I think you might have a few other people joining you in there now you've given the secret away!